The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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