i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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