Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
