I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
