How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
