I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
