Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
