why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
