I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Randomize
