Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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