its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
