then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Two words: nipple clamps
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