She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize