My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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