Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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