Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
