I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
