thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
