I'm drive I can fine osifer
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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