you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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