He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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