I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
