Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i will never coherently bang her
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
