they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
