sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
