think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
