I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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