Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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