We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
