Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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