So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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