Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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