I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
