How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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