i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
