erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
