Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
