i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
