gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
