He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
