I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
how does that bad decision feel?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
