She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
