I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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