saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
