Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
