She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
