What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
