It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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