I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
