I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
